Walk This Way
WMMM #079 - This week I share tips for handling a common challenge.
Jeff Keplar Newsletter October 5, 2024 4 min read
We all make mistakes.
Yet, we have a double standard when it comes to judging them.
We tend to judge others' mistakes differently than we judge our own.
Being blind to this double standard is detrimental to our effectiveness.
When we make a mistake, we often blame the situation's circumstances rather than take responsibility.
When another person makes a mistake, we tend to over-emphasize that person's role in the error.
As a result, we tend to link their identity - their character, personality, and values - to the cause of the mistake:
They aren't sincere
They had negative intentions
It's their fault.
Once we form these conclusions, we tend to act as if they were true.
We can counter this psychological phenomenon with a simple cognitive shift.
Assume Good Intentions
When we follow this advice, our whole approach to a person or problem becomes very different.
When we assume positive intent, we'll be able to listen generously and speak straight far more effectively.
Assuming positive intent is an excellent tip for sales and life.
It is a reasonable way to approach a situation when we lack all of the facts.
This mindset will help us be less reactive.
If we start to feel that something is malicious, but it could reasonably be explained by incompetence or total lack of consideration, it's likely the latter.
When we choose to assume negative intentions and are incorrect, we have impaired our effectiveness.
Examples include:
By someone asking us questions, we infer they're criticizing us, or they haven't prepared properly, don't know the answer they should know, and are lazy or incompetent.
When someone makes a promise and doesn't deliver, we infer that they are insincere and do not intend to keep it or do not have the authority to honor it, and they have misrepresented this to us.
When we assume positive intent, the outcome would be:
By someone asking questions, they value and want our opinion
When someone makes a promise and doesn't deliver, they have had too much on their plate to get to it, or they have temporarily forgotten and need a gentle reminder.
Assuming bad intentions sabotages relationships, self-esteem, and our decision-making.
Assume Neither?
There is a school of thought that we should not make either assumption: good intentions or bad.
Most people's intentions are based on their motivations and have little to nothing to do with us at all.
We are not a main character in their lives.
So whenever something goes awry, just assume we were a minor factor or not a factor at all in why they did what they did.
But what happens when you assume positive intent, and you are incorrect?
The Verbal Contract
In 2019, 30% of Americans were self-employed.
Only three years earlier, the Bureau of Labor Statistics predicted that 2030 would be the year that 30% of Americans would have transitioned to self-employment.
Instead of 14 years, it took three.
In 2022, the registration of 4 million new businesses marked a 30% increase over 2019.
We have a significant trend toward long-term self-employment.
When accustomed to being employed by a large company, we enter a different world when we transition to self-employment.
There are lots of benefits, but also some risks.
Unless our role was at an executive level, we unlikely had an employment contract with our employer.
Large companies avoid those like the plague.
Oh, they will undoubtedly make our employment a condition of us signing a Non-Disclosure Agreement, an Incentive Compensation Plan (for salespeople,) and possibly a Non-Compete Agreement.
However, those agreements are typically one-sided in favor of the employer and convey little or no entitlements that aren't "subject to change at Employer's discretion."
Of our own free will, we accept these conditions and sign.
For the most part, the risk is low that the large employer does not pay us what we think we are entitled to.
On our own, we must negotiate an agreement for the services we promise to deliver in return for the receipt of consideration.
Consideration can include money, stock, stock options, warrants, or something else of value.
This is a legal agreement that memorializes the promises we make to our customer and their commitment to pay us.
It serves as a reminder to each party of the promises made.
It introduces consequences for breaking these promises.
Oral contracts, while legally binding, are challenging to enforce.
If a business tells us that we have an "oral contract" or "verbal contract" and does not produce a legal agreement that memorializes it, they are unlikely to honor their promises to us.
Why?
Isn't that assuming bad intentions?
Maybe.
But, follow this thought process.
Assume good intentions.
We continue to deliver our service as we promised.
They initially honor their promises, but as time goes by, they begin to alter what was agreed upon (when and how much they pay us).
We continue to assume good intentions, deliver what we agreed to, and force ourselves to believe they know they are late in their delivery and feel bad enough that we don't want to embarrass them.
They will right the wrongs.
Or we haven't received anything in writing because they are swamped and have not had time to complete that administrative task.
Assuming good intentions is not a good strategy after giving your client ample time to honor their promises.
If they intend to do so, they will prioritize locking them down with us in a legal agreement.
We would, wouldn't we?
My advice?
Assume good intentions, but get it in writing.
Lessons Learned
1) Do what we say we are going to do.
2) When others don't, assume good intentions when you don't have all the facts.
3) There is no justification for a verbal contract.
4) Assume good intentions, but get it in writing.
Thank you for reading.
Jeff
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