What Do You Say?
WMMM #038 - This week I share my thoughts on responding to a frequent request.
Jeff Keplar Newsletter October 14, 2023 4 min read
Look at Me
What do we say when we need to speak about ourselves?
Do you respond using:
“I am…”, “I do…”, “I did…”,
“...for me”, “...to me”, and “...by me”?
How do we feel when we finish?
We had no choice. We had to answer the question, right?
Many of us wish we could avoid talking about ourselves.
We cringe at the sight of the self-promotion and virtue-signaling that routinely occurs in the workplace and on social media.
We don’t want others to view us in that manner.
Is there an alternative?
Yes.
Everyone’s a Salesperson, and Everything is Selling
Most of the instances we have to speak about ourselves are also selling opportunities.
Scenarios
A job interview: “Tell me about your time with Unicorn.ai.”
Coffee with a prospective client: “Tell me a little about yourself.”
Dinner with an influential partner: “What is your scope of responsibility?”
Private time (for instance, preparing for a fund-raiser for their adopted charity) with an executive: “What’s it like working for BigTech.com?”
In each scenario, we might be tempted to answer their question directly.
In many cases, that is our automatic response - auto-reply.
But what are we trained to do next if we pause and remember to treat everything as an opportunity to sell?
Listen more than we speak.
And how do we do that?
We ask questions to get the other person talking.
You may think: “I’m not selling enterprise software at that moment. They want to know about me. Why drop into selling mode?”
You’d be half right.
We are not selling enterprise software at this very moment.
But we have an opportunity to sell ourselves.
Why wouldn’t we put to use the sales skills we have developed over the course of our profession?
And, with a tip of the hat to Zig and David, I share my thoughts in this week’s edition of Win More, Make More.
Don’t Spill Our Candy in the Lobby
Instead of replying using “I, I, I, me, me, me…” try responding with an open-ended question that begins a dialogue.
When we want or need to sell ourselves to someone, they are influenced to a greater degree when they discover “you” (your background, skills, experience, and accomplishments) themselves.
Try to recall a time when you came to know someone who influenced you, someone you thought was impressive.
Was it because they told you all about themselves?
It is more likely that you discovered impressive things about them indirectly.
This phenomenon is linked to Rule #2, “Don’t Spill Your Candy in the Lobby,” of the famous sales text: The Sandler Rules: 49 Timeless Selling Principles…
Don’t give away too much too soon.
Suggested Responses
Let’s take our scenarios and apply what we discussed.
Scenario #1 - A job interview: “Tell me about your time with Unicorn.ai.”
Response:
I’d be happy to do so. Can you help me better understand what aspects of accelerating growth at a startup are of particular interest to you?
(Listen)
Why?
(Listen)
Tell me more.
(Listen)
Share an obstacle that was preventing the desired outcome at Unicorn.ai. Then say:
I don’t suppose you’ve encountered anything like that.
(Listen)
If done well, this dialogue enables us to learn more about their challenges and identify which areas of our expertise they value.
It also allows you to drop enough breadcrumbs for them to self-discover “you.”
The trail of clues likely includes people that, when contacted by the hiring manager doing their due diligence, will reveal the real “you” so you don’t have to.
In the dialogue, instead of “I, I, I, me, me, me,” we speak of individuals using a mix of names (easily located using LinkedIn) and roles without names (requiring some detective work or driving another conversation with us.)
Drop names without name-dropping.
Let’s try another one.
Scenario #4 - Private time (for instance, preparing for a fund-raiser for their adopted charity) with an executive: “What’s it like working for BigTech.com?”
Response:
Working with enterprises like yours, working at an event like this representing BigTech.com, meeting individuals like yourself… livin’ the dream. Why do you ask?
(Listen)
It’s easy to take for granted how fortunate we all are to work for BigTech.com. Most of us in sales go to work every day with the goal of making it easy for you to do business with us.
How are we doing from your perspective?
(Listen)
On a scale of 1 to 5, with one being “Excellent, we check with you first whenever we have a business need” and five being “Challenged, there are areas we need to improve to continue to do business,” how would you rate us?
(Listen)
Do you have any new areas we can help you address? Let’s put that rating to the test.
(Listen)
How does that feel to you?
We use “us” and “we” instead of “I” and “me.”
If it feels a little awkward, that’s not unusual.
It takes practice to make it natural.
Humble is Okay
Most people don’t associate the word “humble” with the role of salesperson.
But “humble” fits some of the very best I’ve encountered.
Checking our egos at the door, doing things others won’t do, and accepting the lack of respect that comes with the role are all consistent with humility.
And if we see ourselves in that light, it isn’t easy to talk about our accomplishments and how good we are at what we do.
In the present-day culture, self-promotion and virtue signaling are so common that we’re easily overlooked if we’re modest.
But there is no need to change who you are.
Use selling skills to reveal yourself to others when the need arises and allow them to self-discover.
It will help keep your modesty intact while influencing those you meet.
Lessons Learned
Resist talking about yourself. Remember, it’s a selling opportunity.
Enable interested parties to self-discover.
Ask questions to facilitate listening more than we speak.
Don’t spill our candy in the lobby.
Being humble is okay.
H/T Zig Ziglar’s Secrets of Closing the Sale by Zig Ziglar and The Sandler Rules: 49 Timeless Selling Principles…by David Sandler and David Mattson
Thank you for reading,
Jeff
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